Just a few more days...

....and then I'll let myself work out again. I haven't worked out since Saturday! I know, I know, big deal....but seriously, I HATE not working out. I feel like a lump on a log..or in a desk chair. It really makes me think about people who never get to the gym...how do they do it? If I didn't have a desk job, I could see it being ok. But jeez...I feel like I'm bouncing off the walls!! My cold is getting better...I think tomorrow I might be able to get back to working out. My nose is still a little stuffy, but it's definitely improving. It actually feels better when I'm up and moving around! I have been going for long walks (2 45-minute walks) every day to try to get some of this energy out of me. It's nice, even if it's not the serious workout I usually do. I haven't been losing, but I don't really expect to. I haven't been eating well, and I know it's because I'm not working out. It just makes me care so much less about what I put in my body when I don't feel like I'm fueling it to get through my workouts...I know I am still fueling it like for life, but still...today I had a good lunch after my walk and then spotted a plate of cookies in the company kitchen. One GIANT cookie and one small cookie later, I had eaten probably 500 or 600 calories worth of cookie. I want to beat myself up, to think about why I do this to myself, to feel fat, etc. But at least I actually ATE something (albeit not healthy) for all those calories. I'm not hungry in the least and it's already 4:30...generally when i begin craving dinner. Sigh. I just want to get through this week and back to being healthy and my normal self. I need to figure out a way to not eat food we just have lying around the office...luckily, it's not too often, but it's still often enough to do some damage. Tomorrow is our receptionist's birthday and I know she'll bring goodies...at least knowing that they are coming will help me mentally prepare for eating a REASONABLE sized portion. I was eating lunch the other day out at a restaurant and I saw the girl sit next to me eat 1/2 a hamburger and a couple of fries and leave the rest on the plate. I was SO jealous that she could just leave it all there...I will finish everything put in front of me. It's like a compulsion really. Sigh. I promise to post something logical and less stream-of-consciousness at some point this week...as you can see, not working out is rough on my mentally as well :P