Welcome to my blog!
This is me:
I don't normally wear a referee top and walk around drinking. Well, unless it's Halloween. Welcome to my blog! I was inspired by a couple of girls on the 3FC website to start my own blog where I can type as much illogical, non thought-out crap I want and no one can stop me (muahahahaha <-- evil laugh) I am 23 years old (after Saturday, my birthday!) and I live in the sometimes wonderful, sometimes crappy San Francisco, California. I am dating this guy who sometimes I love and sometimes I can't stand. Kind of like San Francisco. We've been dating for almost three years, I'm not ready to get married, and I don't know what to do about our situation. More on that later. I graduated from Stanford University last year...it was the best time of my life. I think, for the most part, I appreaciated that fact and took advantage of all the wonderful things there. I now work as a consultant for a company that specializes in consumer products and retail. I want to be traveling, going to different clients, and helping them do product development and merchandise planning. I did that for a few months, but have mostly been working on due diligence projects for private equity groups. Don't worry if you don't know what that means. It's very challenging and I like it, except for when I have to work until 1 am, when I am asked to do things that are out of my league (or so I think until I do them), and when I can hear the partners talking about me in their offices. I hate that. A lot of times I feel like a fish out of water. More on that later. I have a great roomate who is super nice. We don't hang out that much except for at the apartment, but when we do it's pretty fun. I have good friends, but I don't see them a lot because they are in various locations across the country. That makes it really hard on a day to day basis, but whenever I find myself with some free time I try to get together with everyone I know here. I need to work on meeting more people, but with a boyfriend there isn't really that insentive to get out and meet people when I can just hang out with him. A huge huge huge part of my life is devoted to working out and eating right. I used to weigh (brace myself) 190 pounds (I'm 5'7") Over the past 4 years I have lost 45 pounds. I know I'm a size 6, but I still reach for the bottom of the pile when I try to find my size in jeans. I don't think I will ever see myself as I truly am. I used to be crazy happy with my body, yes, when I was a size 14. Then a boy that's a friend of mine told me that he wouldn't mind dating me because, "he likes his girls fat." Complimentary, I guess, but a wakeup call. Since then I have become so much more healthy, but my self-image has definitely decreased. Interesting that weight and self-image are inversely related for me. There are definitely days, however, when I wake up and I'm like, damn I'm hot. That makes me happy. People who have never been fat and lost weight will never, and I mean never understand. I can probably tell you the number of calories in every thing that you had to eat today. I keep a running tally in my head of how many calories I've eaten in one day. When I stop to think about it, it's scary. But necessary. I would rather live like I do then how I used to. I have memories of sitting at my desk freshman year of college feeling sick to my stomach after eating a pack of oreos and drinking a coke. Hm, that's probably 680 calories. See I told you, it's a habit. I still want to lose 16 more pounds, but officially my goal is to lose 6 more pounds. We'll see if I ever get there. My life is devoted to (other than work, eating right, and exercising (those three take up most of my time)) trying to find happiness in my life as a friend, girlfriend, daughter, and most importantly...as ME. Watchout, here comes my blog!
I don't normally wear a referee top and walk around drinking. Well, unless it's Halloween. Welcome to my blog! I was inspired by a couple of girls on the 3FC website to start my own blog where I can type as much illogical, non thought-out crap I want and no one can stop me (muahahahaha <-- evil laugh) I am 23 years old (after Saturday, my birthday!) and I live in the sometimes wonderful, sometimes crappy San Francisco, California. I am dating this guy who sometimes I love and sometimes I can't stand. Kind of like San Francisco. We've been dating for almost three years, I'm not ready to get married, and I don't know what to do about our situation. More on that later. I graduated from Stanford University last year...it was the best time of my life. I think, for the most part, I appreaciated that fact and took advantage of all the wonderful things there. I now work as a consultant for a company that specializes in consumer products and retail. I want to be traveling, going to different clients, and helping them do product development and merchandise planning. I did that for a few months, but have mostly been working on due diligence projects for private equity groups. Don't worry if you don't know what that means. It's very challenging and I like it, except for when I have to work until 1 am, when I am asked to do things that are out of my league (or so I think until I do them), and when I can hear the partners talking about me in their offices. I hate that. A lot of times I feel like a fish out of water. More on that later. I have a great roomate who is super nice. We don't hang out that much except for at the apartment, but when we do it's pretty fun. I have good friends, but I don't see them a lot because they are in various locations across the country. That makes it really hard on a day to day basis, but whenever I find myself with some free time I try to get together with everyone I know here. I need to work on meeting more people, but with a boyfriend there isn't really that insentive to get out and meet people when I can just hang out with him. A huge huge huge part of my life is devoted to working out and eating right. I used to weigh (brace myself) 190 pounds (I'm 5'7") Over the past 4 years I have lost 45 pounds. I know I'm a size 6, but I still reach for the bottom of the pile when I try to find my size in jeans. I don't think I will ever see myself as I truly am. I used to be crazy happy with my body, yes, when I was a size 14. Then a boy that's a friend of mine told me that he wouldn't mind dating me because, "he likes his girls fat." Complimentary, I guess, but a wakeup call. Since then I have become so much more healthy, but my self-image has definitely decreased. Interesting that weight and self-image are inversely related for me. There are definitely days, however, when I wake up and I'm like, damn I'm hot. That makes me happy. People who have never been fat and lost weight will never, and I mean never understand. I can probably tell you the number of calories in every thing that you had to eat today. I keep a running tally in my head of how many calories I've eaten in one day. When I stop to think about it, it's scary. But necessary. I would rather live like I do then how I used to. I have memories of sitting at my desk freshman year of college feeling sick to my stomach after eating a pack of oreos and drinking a coke. Hm, that's probably 680 calories. See I told you, it's a habit. I still want to lose 16 more pounds, but officially my goal is to lose 6 more pounds. We'll see if I ever get there. My life is devoted to (other than work, eating right, and exercising (those three take up most of my time)) trying to find happiness in my life as a friend, girlfriend, daughter, and most importantly...as ME. Watchout, here comes my blog!
posted by michelle @ 2:40 PM
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