when you call my name...

That song is on the radio right now :)
Last night I went to a show with my ex-boyfriend. It's been about two and a half months. All night I went back and forth between wanting to go out and have some single fun and wanting to crawl into his lap. Ah, heart break. I wonder what he was thinking. After I left, I went to a friends party and this guy I am dating called...he didn't want to take a cab all the way to the party. Obviously not a keeper, but at least someone to have fun with, I guess. I was kind of in a funk last night, but I'm trying my best to get out of it today. I'm going to go for a run across the Golden Gate bridge (about nine miles) since it is absolutely gorgeous today. Tonight I am having some people over for Halloween, but unfortunately most people couldn't make it. I am wondering what will happen if I have like three people at my part...oh well, I will worry about that later. I will have fun regardless. I weighed in this morning at 141.1...I am slooowly getting back down to my pre-conference weight. This really is a lesson to learn in eating well. I must have gained at least two pounds, since it is still taking me all this time to get off. On Monday I start traveling again for work...geez, that brings so many trials and tribulations with food. EVERY meal I eat out...I will keep my blog update to keep myself accountable! I am ready to get to my goal weight (138) and then maybe drop a little after that...I was thinking maybe 129? That would put me solidly in the lower range of a healthy BMI. That would be exciting :)

no improvement....

bleh. i have been sitting and eating pretty much straight through the past two days. i could blame work, but it's just as much my fault for not choosing healthy things to eat. i have been eating too much candy, cookies, etc. I weighed in this morning at 142.6, which means that I still haven't lost any weight this week and (despite thinking that I couldn't possibly)I guess I really did gain three pounds at that conference last week. they aren't going away!! oh well...i just need to get back to eating right, and i made a good start today. i worked out this morning even though i was really tired, didn't have a bagel at work (friday we always have bagels), and didn't go out to lunch. i am determined to weigh in this weekend, well on monday, at a reasonable weight. i have fun non-eating activities planned for the weekend, so i think i should be good. the only problem i can forsee is that i might be working, which always leads to eating...i will figure out something though. ok back to a good rest of this friday!!

work stress

i weighed in this morning at 142.5...i originally started this blog not intending to make it a weight loss blog, but since i've gotten so off track, i think i need to get back in the habit of paying attention to how much i weigh. i ate well yesterday for the most part, though i did have a latte and a cookie around five. (i was starving, but could have picked a better choice). really, i shouldn't have had the two halloween chocolates later in the day, and frozen yogurt after dinner. for me, i have to allow myself treats when i'm stressed out at work. if i'm starving and its five and i know i have five or ten more hours of work ahead of me, you can bet i'm at starbucks grabbing a latte and a cookie. is that bad? yes. but really that probably won't change too much. and it only happens every once in a while, so i'm not too worried. what is worse is the mindless eating -- the chocolates, the frozen yogurt, the stuff where i'm NOT hungry and don't really need to eat it! so the cookie i had yesterday was 400 calories (i looked online). i know, it's a ton. but then i had two chocolates (130 calories about) and a frozen yogrut (170 calores). there's an additional 300 calories i didn't need!! i need to eat when i am hungry, and not eat sweets when i'm not. ok that is my goal for the rest of this week...allow myself treats if i'm actually hungry, but cut out those extra sweets! oh my goodness, there is so much work to do!! better get back to it!!

today..

feeling good. woke up and worked out...i can feel it in my legs and my shoulders :) a great feeling! so workout - check. now i'm at work and have a meeting at two that may spell death for the rest of this week (and the next week for that matter). positive attitude about work -- check. performing my best -- check. trying not to get a headache before 8 pm....will do my best!!

back...again

yeah, so i guess i wasn't really back after the last time.
i have been just treating my body horribly for the past two months. after i broke up with my boyfriend, i have just been eating and drinking so much...sometimes socially, sometimes just bingeing. i don't know why i've been doing it...it's not like i am devastated over the break up or anything. it's just like i am not as focused on working out and eating right because i have more stuff on my brain like going out and meeting people, etc. anyway, i'm ready to get back to treating myself the way i used to -- not nececssarily dieting, just keeping track of what i eat and paying attention to making my body feel great. i want to feel fabulous and i know what that takes. i feel best when i've gone running, when i am dressed well w/ my make up and hair done, with my cup of coffee...just taking the extra effort to make time for myself to workout and make myself look good. what stands in my way of feeling this great? sometimes i feel like i have no control over my environment...it's that f-ing candy jar at work, the bagels and cookies, the sugar i use to relieve tension. i want to find solutions to stress and a bad environment that don't involve eating. any suggestions? i need to think on it some more, but i know raiding the office candy jar isn't going to be the right solution...