more resolutions...

i was in such a huff this morning, i forgot to finish my resolutions!! these are my fun resolutions :)
ok so recap + new ones
- more fun things!
- figure out money situation!
- STOP BINGE EATING!
- train for either a half marathon or triathlon (to be decided later...i need to figure out whether or not i can afford the triathlon!)
- go to church more when i am by myself and not with my family
- get up a little extra early during the week so i look cute at work :)

ok that's all for now! i like putting these in my blog so i can remember them..and keep me on top of things!

f*ck you, blogger

well, i just typed this long, fabulous post about being glad the holidays are over because i've realized how lame my life is when i am just at home and not working...but f*cking blogger lost the post. i guess it wasn't meant to be. i didn't really want to publish all those negative thoughts anyway..that's just not me. hey, here's new years resolution number one - get back to being the old, positive michelle! wow, i just made that transition while my server was disconnected :P i don't normally make resolutions, but i think this year i will...if nothing else, to give me some new motivation!
new years 2007 resolutions...
- find things to do on the weekends (Dance class, new workout classes, etc) that don't involve eating or drinking
- get my finances in order so i know what i have (and don't have) to spend .... this one is already in progress as i just put all my info into quicken yesterday!!
- STOP BINGE EATING. figure out why i am doing it, and stop. less importantly than this (but still important)...lose 15 (well, now 17 since i gained two pounds this week) pounds by the wedding i'm in in june. if i'm not going to be dating anyone, but have to be in these weddings, i might as well look HOT.

xoxo michelle

just a normal day..

but it feels so good!
my day yesterday - woke up, went to work for a while, had some coffee and a power bar (and half a granola bar) went to the gym, went home and had a snack, ran some errands, came home, made dinner, watched a movie while i wrapped chrstimas presents, had some ice cream, went to bed. it was awesome. it didn't include binge eating, guilt, nausea, or tears. why can't every day be like that? oh wait, they can. or at least a majority of my days! i'm going to work on that...

my name is michelle, and i'm a binge eater

i thought i had my problem taken care of...so many years later. but my binge eating had reared its ugle head again, and i have no one but myself to blame. the past couple of months i have stuffed anything and everything in my mouth. it started with the "drunchies" (see below posts), but has translated into every aspect of my life. i crave to be back on my regular schedule, to eat healthy and in moderation, to not spend every minute of every day thinking about food. how does one accomplish this??? i know what has triggered it..the season brings lots of chocolate and cookies, the weather brings lots of sitting inside, the work i'm doing means traveling and eating out a lot...
but none of these things seemed to get me before. i could pass up candy at work like it ain't not thang. but now, i find myself eating five lindor truffles and feeling sick to my stomach a la michelle 2001. my most vivid memory of freshman year is eating a pack of oreos and drinking a coke while studying, then taking a nap because my stomach hurt so bad. gross, right? but somehow, i got back there. this is what i want -- to eat 5-6 sensible meals every day, to enjoy those meals, to let those meal fuel me but not stuff me, and to not think about food during any time but that time. not in the afternoon when work slows down, not when i walk by the cafeteria, not when i'm watching tv. i long for food to stop haunting me and just become food, the way it is to everyone else. the way it was to me before i started dieting....but before i was obese. sigh, that feels good to get out. i have to say, the blog is the best way to purge :P